Thursday. Day 8

Dear Burk,
I woke up this morning tired and a little grumpy. I had to get my kids ready fast and to the babysitter so I could do the morning shift today. I'll admit I was really dreading coming. Yesterday was awful. A day i would rather forget.
I got to the hospital just as the trauma doctors were doing rounds. You look much better (better being relative of course) today and are more calm. Sweet mercy. You opened your eyes when I came in. You immediately motioned for me to free you. "Not gonna happen". Your hand falls in defeat.
Yesterday you kept banging on the side of your bed to get my attention. One time you snapped your fingers. "Don't snap at me." For some reason it reminded me of a time when we were younger. You yelled to me in my room. I came out to the family room and you said, with a smirk on your face, "get me the remote". It was 10 feet away from you. I looked at you in disgust and said "your legs aren't broken" and I walked out of the room. I guess now if your tried that I couldn't say your legs aren't broken. That sucks.
Dad was there when i got there. He's so optimistic about everything. Sometimes we tease him and tell him to quit blowing sunshine and tell us how bad it really is. Dad's always been the biggest believer in you. That you can get better. From anything.
The night nurse and today's nurse have politely asked us to try not to stimulate you. You try harder to communicate with us. You probably initially tried with the nurses but they make no effort to understand what you're trying to tell us. It must be maddening to be tied down and unable to talk. When the nuse walked out I ignored her and tried to see what you wanted. I finally figured out the back of your head itched. I made dad itch it for you. Turns out your sweaty and I'm pregnant so my tolerance for nasty stuff is a little lower. Nothing bothers dad.
The nurse asked us to step out while she gave you a suppository. You're still not regular. Yu need more fiber. :) While i was in the hall an alarm went off in your room. Things are beeping all the time in there so i didn't think much about it. But it kept going off. A few nurses came in from the hall. You had stopped breathing. You still have a breathing tube in but you are doing the work for breathing instead of the machine. If you stop breathing for more than 30 seconds the machine kicks in and breaths for you. The respiratory therapist came in and said "just when I thought you were going to behave today." I laughed out loud. "let me tell you a little something about my brother. Behave is not in his vocabulary." the machine was only on for a minute and then you started breathing on your own again. You're such a booger sometimes. You about gave me a heart attack.
A few minutes later the nurses needed to rotate you. They try to prevent bed sores. They have to untie you when they do that. You tried to take your shot and jump out of bed. They had to hold you down for a minutes.
The new plan for today is to give you a tracheotomy. That way they can get the breathing tube out of your mouth and help the swelling and agitation in your throat. They were nervous about having a 3rd extubation failure. You will probably have that for at least 4 or 5 days.
They put it in right there in your room. I actually wanted to see that but I had to leave. I asked dad if we could videotape it so you chould see it. You wouldn't watch it though. You have a weak stomach for that sort of stuff.
Hopefully they'll get the trach in today. I think it will really help your discomfort level. Although then you'll have a hole in your throat. That can't be all that awesome but again everything is relative. You still won't be able to talk but hopefully you'll be less agitated. We're anxious to be able to communicate so we can finally asses your mental status. We still don't really know what to expect with that.
Oh, and PS I am super sick of this hospital. Just for the record.